It’s been a return to grey and wet here in Essex, but my mood remains relatively bright
Greetings from Thaxted! I hope you have enjoyed your weekend? I think enjoyed might be too strong a word to capture my feeling, but I have certainly been happier, and more occupied. I have also been feeling so much better physically and mentally. This is such a relief.
I didn’t sleep especially well last night, and have decided I went to bed too early. I’ll be staying up later this evening so I don’t have a repeat. Fingers crossed! I was awake around 4.00 a.m. for a good hour or more. I tried to read Counselling for Toads, but Clio was reluctant to let me immerse myself in the “pages”. (I’m reading a digital copy on my phone. I must find the physical book in my store). We eventually both settled down again, and I slept til 8.50 a.m. I think. I fed Clio, then made coffee and did kitchen chores. Helen went for a run with her friend, and I watched my YouTube episodes in my bedroom. There are a number of YouTubers I follow, and some post weekly update videos. Both Narrowboat Life Unlocked and A Life Full of Meaning had new videos out, so I enjoyed those, and then AZB had a Christmas video up too. That took me up to lunchtime. Quick shower, and then joined Helen for lunch and we watched the last semi-final of MasterChef: The Professionals. Still managing to avoid the spoilers on that front. I have a couple of favourites, either of whom I would be happy to win the series.
This afternoon was spent setting up the telly in the study – which was not as straight-forward as it should have been. I am missing an Amazon Fire stick remote control, so that was buggered. I’ve added the TV to the Alexa app, but still not managing to control it from there. I am loathe to spend another £30 on a replacement fire stick – but was given £30 for Christmas by friends, so could use that. Would that still mean I was doing #nospendjanuary though – or will I have failed at the first hurdle? I have resisted ordering one for now. Chromecast was similarly problematic – it was upgraded, installed, connected to my account – and nothing will cast to it from my Google apps. Frustrating. In the end I brought the blu-ray player down, which is smart unlike the TV, so am using that until I sort something else. It has enabled me to continue my journey with Superman and Lois this evening and also catch up with some other YouTube videos – mostly Campervan Tales.
I didn’t bother with dinner this evening. We’ve not got a lot in, and what we did have I didn’t want. Need to do a shop in the next day or two. Are shops open tomorrow? If so, I could get some iron supplements too.
I have another penpal! Two kind people have come forward and said they would like to correspond with me, so tonight I wrote and posted my second letter. That’s two sent out into the world now, although I think the first postal collection from the village will be on Tuesday morning. I also stuck to my goal of going out every day. As the rain had finally stopped tonight, I walked up the post office and sent off the second letter – well dropped in in the post box at any rate.
I contacted the Samaritans tonight, saying that I felt my MH crisis has passed now, and that I didn’t want to divert them from others who need their support, so will stop the conversation for now, in the full knowledge that they are there if needed. I really have valued the daily contact, and the teasing out of thoughts and reasoning, without being told what to do. If you are ever struggling, feeling worried or low (with our without feeling suicidal) do contact them.
I’ll wrap this up here. PAX!